Angel with a Shotgun
by OnehitWonder7777777
Summary: Nothing belongs to me. This is an AU where Raf and Sulfus live on earth as married adult humans with jobs. They're still Eternals but keep their powers secret...most of the time.
1. Get Out Your Gun

Arizona Cavill worked as a prostitute at age thirteen. At age fifty-five she became a secretary for a family therapist. She met Dr. Raf Morningstar at church and though Cavill didn't care for the sermons she went every Sunday by the doctor's orders.

On a typical Tuesday Cavill would answer emails and phone calls from Dr. Raf's many charities and elementary school functions. The doctor wasn't a mother but was involved with local public schools out of the goodness of her heart. Cavill had never met a kinder, more sincere and go-getter woman like . Cavill thought she deserved an armored car way more than the Pope.

"Good Morning, Arizona. I got your gluten-free bagel." Raf said walking into the waiting room of her practice. The plants were real and luscious and the angel paintings shined in the window's light. The furniture was blues and whites.

"Bless you, Doctor." Cavill said taking her bagel bag. She didn't eat because she had to reread a long message from a hospital board about a gala fundraiser. Raf would be the guest speaker.

Raf licked the whipped cream off her coffee and walked into her office. The psychiatrist dropped her morning liquid and stepped back.

The pearly white couch and desk were filthy with brown and green paint. The bookshelf was on the floor and pages from her books thrown everywhere like a birdcage. Raf was most disturbed by the large carvings in her wall that read 'I HATE YOU, RAF'. The carvings went through a painting her husband did of her three childhood friends.

Raf looked out her practice's window as the police took pictures in her office. Cavill was giving the lead detective her whereabouts of the hour of the incident. A man in an all black suit pushed pass an officer and went to Raf. She took his hand and looked into his scared brown eyes eyes.

"I'm fine, Sulfus." Raf told her husband before snapping her fingers. The snap preformed a trick where they two would move faster than light around the humans in her office. The officers and Cavill were statue still but Sulfus moved at normal speed. His eyes became a supernatural bright yellow.

Sulfus held her hand gently to his face which went primal with rage. "I'm going to find whoever did this and kill them."

"No you're not." Raf said calmly as if they were talking about grocery shopping.

Sulfus growled and wanted to throw the magazine table at the wall to hear a crashing of wood. He did not because this was his wife's problem and she wasn't asking for that.

"Okay, I'll let them live." He took a deep breath, "What would you like to do, my love?"

Raf curled her fingers around his, "I'd like to find them, understand why they did this, help them and then sue the hair from their bodies."

Sulfus blinked twice, "Really? I mean, that's what I wanna do but we rarely agree so fast."

"Objects can be replaced, I can forgive a troubled soul but this is all too personal not to warrant atonement" Raf said judicially while releasing her Angelic wings and halo.

"Revenge by any other name still tastes cold and sweet." Sulfus said releasing his Devil wings and horns. The anger in the Devil didn't cease but it ebbed to make room for appreciating his wife. "I get such a kick out of your endless mercy."

"And I'll get a guilty kick from watching you in court punishing a real criminal for once." Raf said as they leaned into a kiss. A light peck made Raf feel better already.

The Eternals hid their magnificent forms and took their positions as Raf's finger snap returned them to regular time.

An Earthly detective walked to them. Sulfus snickered, "Good morning, Detective Pecker."

"Morningstar, I thought you couldn't come out in sunlight." Detective Peirce said to the defense attorney he always hated seeing.

"Gentlemen." Raf said, running a hand over husband's arm.

"Dr. Morningstar, on behalf of my squad thank you for the new bullet-proof vests." Detective Peirce said with stars in his eyes.

"Don't mention it." Raf said waving her hand.

"Personally I cannot believe you would have any enemies so professionally I have to ask you," Detective Peirce looked at Sulfus with chagrin, "Please list your enemies that would want to harm your spouse. I know you have mob connections."

"I have acquaintances with influential business men." Sulfus said lightly as cream.

"And I've met them at our Christmas party last year," Raf interjected, "I do not blame my husband's associations, Detective, I suspect this has to do with one of my own patients."

"Oh?" Detective Peirce asked as Raf led the two into her ravaged office.

"To the Devil with them," Sulfus whispered as he read the word HATE on his wife's wall.

Raf pointed to her opened desk drawer, "This lock was broken because whoever was here knew I keep art supply in my desk for patients."

"Okay, but they could've been looking for something else such as confidential information about your patients or charity funds." Detective Pierce said.

"Perhaps but the person wrote 'I hate you, Raf'. A passionate attack where they used my first name instead just any insult. Also the file cabinet and my laptop look ignored." Raf said pointing to her paint covered laptop sitting on her desk. A forensic squint took a picture of where she aimed.

Sulfus crossed his arms and smiled, "Detective Pecker, please assist the lady while she solves the crime."

Detective Peirce cleared this throat and said to Raf, "Doctor, if you really suspect a patient I'll need details on which patient."

The scars on her office hurt Raf but she remembered she was a grownup, "To protect confidentiality I will go over my notes and get back to you, Detective. Please excuse me."

Raf quietly spoke to Sulfus then left the room. Sulfus leaned in the doorway.

"You know she didn't just sign my name on the card, you can thank me for your vests too, Pecker." Sulfus said with a sharky grin.

"Her work helps people, you make money off the sewage of mankind. I can't believe you donated a glance at her contribution." Detective Pierce said then said in a hush, "That woman is way, way, way, way, way too good for you."

"Yeah." Sulfus said with a huge smile. His eyes were dreamy as waved goodbye to the detective.

In Sulfus' office Raf sat at his desk while she went over copies of her patient files. Sulfus stood behind her and massaged her shoulders.

"You know, Raf, I could call a favor from a client if you want to this criminal 'atoned' sooner than later." The defense attorney said to his wife.

"Thank you but no thank you, I just have to remember who I could've offended. There had been some people who didn't agree with my advice on life changes." Raf said clicking her laptop for recent and familiar names.

"Hard to accept advice from a privileged, hot blonde, Doc." Belinda Prejean, a public defender and friend of Raf's said from the other side of the desk.

"Hey I haven't always had it so easy. Six years ago I was living in a tent in the woods with no one but this guy to rely on." Raf said sticking her thumb at Sulfus, who was smirking at the memory. Cold, hungry and smelly but the lovemaking went on for days.

"No shade intended, babe, I'm just saying some people who don't know your whole story would just call you a nagging goody-two-shoe w.a.s.p." Belinda said, who dodged a flaming paper-ball thrown at her head. Belinda jumped on the ball before it set fire to the carpet. Sulfus played with his pocket lighter.

Raf whacked Sulfus' throwing arm, "Sulfus! She does make a hurtful point. There was one patient who left without a word after not getting the immediate results she wanted."

"I wish I could forget I met you!" Jamie Magno said when Raf and Sulfus showed up at her frozen yogurt job. The Devil could smell the rebellion and cruelty in her blood. Raf liked a challenge and saw brightness behind this girl's webs of confusion.

"So I can't ask how school's going? Or say how much I like the new tattoo?" Raf stated. The teenager girl was court-appointed to Raf's therapy but requested a transfer after two sessions.

Magno ignored her by loudly scrubbing the counter of sticky sprinkles.

"Okay, may I ask for the Rubyberry special of the day?" Raf asked.

"Like you eat." Magno said, eyeing Raf's slim waistline.

Raf sighed, "Jamie, I don't want to call your parole officer so talk to me now or lose your ice-cream hat."

Magno leaned over the counter to look Raf in the eyes. "What do you want, skank?"

Raf held her arm up to prevent Sulfus from attacking the teenager.

"Tell me you have the ovaries to vandalize my office because I suggested trying faith for the first time in forever." Raf said sinking her eyes into Magno's crinkling face.

"Faith is for the hopeless." Magno said in a cracked voice.

"Exactly. And I don't think you're a hopeless case. There is a lack of hope in your own heart which pains me because I know how big it is as is." Raf said, her face becoming tender.

Magno dropped her face and made a fist on the counter. "You're so fucking mean. Leave me alone."

"I promise I will, after you promise to tell me the truth and continue going to Dr. Lynskey." Raf said, she wanted to take the girl's hand but sensed Magno wasn't ready for such contact yet.

Magno pulled her head up, "I haven't been to your office since… I never want to see you again."

Raf nodded her head. "I hear you. Good bye, Jamie."

Sulfus stepped to Raf's side and ordered a double Red Velvet yogurt cup. He overpaid Magno and flashed his cold eyes. and hard line of a mouth.

"What out of hell was that?" Sulfus asked as they walked out the shoppe.

Raf sighed and ate a spoon full of frozen yogurt, "That poor girl beats herself up because she doesn't want to feel it from others first. It's a bad habit but I know she's brave enough to stop and try something else."

"You know you give more respect to these defeatist creatures than they deserve." Sulfus said putting an arm behind her back.

"I like to think I'm creating a goal for them to earn." Raf said, "I believe she wasn't the one. She wants to run, not attack."

"I think you're right." Sulfus stated, "Fine by me keeping that dork Pecker out of the mix."

"I don't think the police are dorks, I just worry they're more eager to arrest than seek justice. I really only called because it's what a human would do." Raf said as they walked the city street.

"And as an Angel you're only out to forgive." Sulfus said about to jaywalk until Raf pulled him by his suit jacket.

"I want to want that but honestly I do want to punish this vandal myself. My office was my sanctuary, my second home." Raf explained as they walked the crosswalk.

"Raf, you're more than allowed to be mad. I hope you are because it lets me be the sensible one instead of me being the rampaging one. There would be no survivors and we'd have to move." Sulfus said as they sat on a park bench.

"Dear Sulfus, the yang to my yin." Raf said, her hand on his chest. "Or the yin to my yang when needed."

"Forever and always." Sulfus said, scooping the last of their frozen yogurt. Raf took it out of his hand and separated the trash and recycling.

"I'm at a block of who else it could be, unless some of my patients are faking liking me." Raf said, her voice revealed this newly discovered friction was hurting her feelings.

"That one kid surprised me already, Raf. One of our immortal enemies would've done something bigger but I can't figure who on Earth since all humans are born to love your kind." Sulfus said with a roll of his eyes. Despite Devils being more fun the Angels got the statues and shrines.

The curls in Raf's bun bounced as the Angel gasped, "Oh my halo. Love."

"Yeah, I love you too but you're the exception. Any other Angel in existence…why do you look guilty?" Sulfus asked with a raised eyebrow.

The Angel twisted her fingers and turned around with a frown. "Darling, I may have not told you something in order to protect a confused mortal."

"Oh, like what?" Her husband wondered what it could be since she knew Sulfus loved trouble and secrets.

"A while ago I did have one patient that experienced a transference of romantic feelings onto me. I talked it out of him but we had to push him to seek a new psychiatrist." Raf explained as she watched the fury lines grow between his narrowing eyebrows.

"A lunatic is after you because you jilted his crush?" Sulfus asked slowly, flames growing up his ears and body.

"You're going to need to cool down. This-" Raf pointed to his green flames, "Is why I didn't need to tell you before."

"Raf, tell me his name!" Sulfus stood up from the burnt bench.

"Uggh." Raf snapped her fingers and slowed down time. She released her large fluffy wings. She puckered her lips and cheeks to blow the fire off of him. "I don't need your jealousy right now, Sulfus, I need you to stay sensible."

"Already lost that! Now tell me so I can rip out his bleeding heart!" Sulfus said, his horns and bat wings expanded.

Raf considered holding him down until he was too exhausted to hunt down the human. She decided conscious Sulfus was more helpful so she gently put her hand on his ears, her eyes melted blue chocolate.

"My darling, you've already stolen my heart. There is no need to take any others'." Raf said, "Be mad at me for keeping secrets but please be calm about this human."

Sulfus huffed and slouched down, "Fiiine." His clawed hand curled against her pink face. "I am mad at you but we'll deal with that after."

"I'm giving this lead to Detective Peirce." Raf said, her glowing fingers laced with his sharp nails.

That night Belinda brought sponge cake and cosmos to Raf's house.

"Who's this mystery psycho?" Belinda asked as they sat in Raf's living room. The furniture and décor mixed with solid whites and blacks with a single bouquet of red and pink flowers in a vase near the white couch Raf sat on. Belinda sat on the black couch opposite.

A bang startled Belinda while Raf simply looked over her shoulder. In the backyard Sulfus was shooting targets with a Benelli M3; a shotgun that could go semi-automatic to pump-action. Raf didn't condone shooting animals so she let him shoot porcelain figurines. Sulfus' assistance Fredrick Flackett threw them high as he could as he rewrote his resume in his head.

"Kevin Malone. He had trouble coping after his fiancé died. I encouraged him to use his time for appreciating his talents and building friendships. One day he brought a guitar to a session." Raf's grimace pulled her neck muscles.

The stalker threat was serious but Raf hating the serenade had Belinda chuckle.

"He strongly disagreed with changing psychiatrist. Then Kevin began crying and ran out the room and I wanted to tell him he had hope to met someone else if he opened up again but I decided he needed space." Raf said, rubbing the spot between her eyes. "This was two weeks ago and I'd been meaning to tell Sulfus but he would've wanted to hunt the man down and I wasn't thinking a restraining order was needed."

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I want to join Morningstar on that hunt. I don't like dude who creep on my friends." Belinda didn't feel the need to point out Raf was her only non-work-friend at the moment. Even then she met Raf through working near Sulfus.

"Awww, that's sweet." Raf said taking her friend's hand. Belinda jumped at the next bang. Raf did not think Sulfus would shoot a porcelain angel figurine but she knew he was very angry with her.

"I'm not really mad at her, but off the record I want this guy dead and buried under the daisy bed." Sulfus said with a shrug the shotgun to his eye.

Flackett adjusted his ear-covers, "Sir, may I remind you that premeditated murder has a longer sentence."

"Freddy, I'm not gonna make you dispose of the body. I know about your gag reflex. Damn, your poor boyfriend." Sulfus said pitifully as he motioned for Flackett to throw a pink porcelain ballerina in the sky.

Flackett cleared his throat and threw the ballerina over his head before jumping down to the grass.

"Raf says she never cared about the guy more than an average patient but he doesn't know the difference between casual loving Raf and jump in front of a bullet Raf cause it's the same person!" Sulfus said, watching the porcelain shatter and drop into Raf's flowerbeds.

He and Raf lived near a beach but had property between the sand and house for Raf to keep a garden and Sulfus to keep a menagerie of predator animals (all rescues).

"Cause I love Raf I won't kill this guy but because Raf loves me I want to kill him so much harder." Sulfus said while reloading the shotgun. "Freddy, could you get me an apple?"

"I will not be your target practice!" Flackett said making an x with his arms.

Sulfus smirked, "Okay. Get me something else to eat. Where's the trust, my dear Freddy?"

"Oh. Frankly, sir, it died when you demolished the entire Hallmark store." Flackett said as he walked to retrieve a less target-like snack.

"Hey, they were going out of business anyway!" Sulfus said with a grim chuckle. He waited for Freddy to close the door and then said, "Come on out, Kevin."

A man jumped out of Raf's Birch tree. Over six-feet tall, chest wider than waist and arm muscles thick as baseballs Kevin Malone walked up to his 'romantic rival.'

"What the Devil do you eat, man?" Sulfus said, hating that the guy was a handsome bald.

"Eggs, salads, Dr. Raf's limitless compassion and love." Kevin said, his hazel eyes full of unicorns and his voice ocean deep.

"I'm not here to hurt , I wanna apologize for what happened to her office. I had just found out she was married," Kevin said with a strained voice, "And I was jealous. But I know she'll forgive me. She's the perfect woman."

"Why did you bring rope to a gun fight?" Sulfus asked, hating how it made Kevin look like a movie-star cow-boy. Raf loved horses.

"Oh, this is for you while I talk to her about where we go from here." Kevin said holding the rope in his hands.

Sulfus clicked his tongue to the back of his teeth. "I promised _my wife_ I wouldn't kill you so I'm going to say this slowly: put down the rope and I'll go easy on you."

"Douche, I have a hundred pounds on you." Kevin said as Sulfus put the gun on the table and walked away from reach.

"Pumpkin, you'll need all the help you can get." Sulfus said cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders.

" has been all the help I needed. She's too pure and good for this world. I know she's out of my league but I'll be damned if she stays married to a thing like you!" Kevin said running to tackle Sulfus to the ground.

Sulfus stepped away at the last second and tapped the back of Kevin's neck. Kevin slammed into the ground like he was dropped from the tree.

Kevin spit out dirt, "I read all about you!" Kevin said jumping up with curled fists. "You're a shameless, dirty lawyer that gets off murders, drug lords, rapists-"

"I'd never represent a rapist. What's life without romance?" Sulfus said as he dodged the human's weak meaty fists.

"There's a special place in Hell for a guy like you!"

"Yeah, a throne if I ever went back." Sulfus said as he grabbed Kevin's fists in his palms. He leaned up to whisper, "But here's a little secret; I'm never going back because I have Raf here."

Sulfus crushed Kevin's knuckles with a flick of his wrists.

"You're the Devil! How did Dr. Raf marry you?! Is she brainwashed? Did you cut off her Angel wings!?" Kevin demanded, he had no idea Raf was actually an Angel. He saw her as a human good enough to be an Angel.

The very idea of harming Raf's wings snapped Sulfus' peaceful mindset. He grabbed Kevin's bald scalp, the skin ripping in his hand.

"How dare you accuse her of such weakness." Sulfus said, letting his fangs descend and his Devil horns peak through his hair.

Kevin gasped in pain and futilely tried to pull Sulfus' grip.

"You think I don't know Raf had other options! She could've had any Halo Head bow at her feet and give her everything in Heaven. Hell, if she hadn't chosen me she could've taken Heaven all by herself and become its Minister by now!" Sulfus said, his wings expanding and talons scratching Kevin's bones.

"We both made sacrifices, that's marriage. Yeah, there are regrets some days but I will not leave her. And for the record, me or no me, she would never be with a pathetic maggot like you." Sulfus said, raising his fist to collapse Kevin's face into his brain.

He heard the clock of the shotgun and turned around to see Raf, wings and halo out, holding the gun to him.

"I froze time right before you let your released your real form, and what you've really been thinking." The Angel said, "Sulfus, I wish what you said was true but I had zero options after meeting you."

The Devil's heart deflated then swelled, his voice shook. "Raf, I love you so much. But despite your wish I need to kill this man. Every single part of me is screaming to do it. You know I'm actually evil, right?"

Raf caught his yellow eyes in her gaze, "I know evil is your nature, my darling, but I also know you aren't completely heinous. Indulgent and ruthless, sure, but you aren't all bad just like I'm not all good."

Sulfus didn't argue; he remembered when she acted rash and selfish in their past. Raf was a noble soul but what the humans didn't catch was she was a flawed Angel; capable of anything.

"I'm not holding this up to you, Sulfus, this is for Kevin. This is for intruding on our home and threatening to hurt my favorite person in Creation." Raf said, almost shaking in fury. "I won't hurt him either, but I will scare him straight."

Sulfus dropped Kevin to the ground. "Take off the automatic; the pump will haunt him."

"I like you." Raf said as his spiky wings rubbed against her feathered wings.

"I like you, more." Sulfus said, examining her toned arms holding the shotgun with precise aim towards the human's head.


	2. Priest Came to Dinner

The Devil in her Heart

Battling insane immortals, living incognito and setting dinner plates were the husbandly duties of Sulfus Morningstar. Sulfus prefer to eat out, fresh and hunted or a restaurant with sick bar. Eating at home with his wife's sob-story friend Sulfus would do for the sake of Raf owing him later.

"Yeah, yeah, next weekend we'll snort drugs and dance nude. Tonight is my choice so we're having a nice dinner party with Belinda." Raf said bring out a large salad as the main course.

"You learned cooking?" Sulfus asked, surprised that the mutli-grain bread wasn't burnt.

"Actually, I hired a woman I met at the grocery store to cook." Raf explained; she could've blamed the strange human machines for her ineptitude in culinary experiences but the truth was Raf grew up eating on the go and wanting to do anything else beside chop plants or raise cakes. "We could hire her full time."

"Pass, we're putting the Agreste-Cheng kids through private school by ordering out every night." Sulfus said, putting finger in the grainy pudding Raf placed on the table.

"That's good of us but you really don't want other people around." Raf said, using a spoon to smack Sulfus' finger then smooth out her pudding.

"Cause I like the privacy to love-fuck you over every counter top in this house," Sulfus said kissing under Raf's ear and long hair.

Raf wanted to say stop but the nuzzling felt too good. Her puffy angle wings shot out when Sulfus opened his mouth rub his teeth over her skin.

"Another perfect reason." Sulfus said, putting a hand at the base under her wings. He tickled them and they fluttered.

The Angel grabbed his face and tugged it to hers. "I love you but cut it out, we have a guest coming. And no she cannot join us."

Sulfus smiled, he was okay giving up five-ways because he never wanted to share Raf either. Raf's phone buzzed; a text from Belinda saying she'd arrived to their house.

"I'll get the door. And let her in." Sulfus promised reluctantly.

"Thank you," Raf said, she rolled her shoulders and her wings rolled back into her spirit.

Raf poured crushed ice into glasses and over her fresh pink lemonade. She heard Sulfus bark out a laugh. Most likely he and Belinda were out-sarcasming one another. While immature their game was friendly enough to last them through the dinner.

"Raaaf, Prejean brought a date!" Sulfus said in a mock-delighted voice.

"I'll grab another glass." Raf called, suddenly excited to see who had caught her friend's eye.

"In here." Sulfus said. Raf knew he meant their living room. She put the ice-clanking glasses on a tray and carried it to her guests.

Raf walked in with a smile and dropped that like boulder down a skyscraper.

"Father Glenn, I'd like you to meet Dr. Raf Morningstar." Belinda Prejean said to the tall, glasses-wearing older man.

"Lovely to meet you, Dr. Morningstar." Father Glenn said with a nod and a high-pitched voice.

"Father Glenn." Raf said, acknowledging his presence.

Belinda found it odd that Raf came off cold and Sulfus was smiling ear-to-ear.

"How long will you be staying, Father Glenn?" Raf asked as she put down the tray and took one glass.

"Raf, I told Father Glenn he could stay throughout dinner?" Belinda strained to ask.

Father Glenn twiddled his thumbs, "I could leave if it's too much of an imposition."

"It is not. I'll set another plate. Sulfus, a hand?" Raf said, turning to leave the room.

Sulfus jumped off the couch and slapped the priest's back, "So glad you came."

Raf pushed the plates, bowls and candles around the table in a very rough manner.

"This will be a fun dinner." Sulfus said, handing his wife utensils. "I love how much you hate clergy."

"I do not hate the clergy, I simply disagree with their lifestyle choices, believing in everything written that silly, human-written fictitious book." Raf said, harshly tossing her salad with two big spoons.

"I mean I hate them for stepping on my people's diabolical business, and then being responsible for a really bad era of horror movies." Sulfus said with a roll of his eyes. "We could kick him out."

"Sulfus, I don't want to ask that man to leave because it would upset Belinda, even though she could've asked us first." Raf said in angry whispers. "We'll talk to her later. For now let's put on our Host Hats."

Eleven Minutes Later….

"I didn't give people the power to d-word anyone!" Father Glenn said with dry sobs.

"You're supposed to lead them to do good! Every time I hear the word 'church' it's about sick petitioners hating innocents!" Raf said, slapping her table with her palms.

"I don't want that, I only want everyone to know the mercy of-"

"Stop with the blackmailing- humans are only at the mercy of themselves!" Raf said shaking her head.

Sulfus sat next to Raf and Belinda was on the other side near the scared Father Glenn.

"But Raf loves go to churches." Belinda stated quietly behind her fork and knife.

"Raf loves eighteenth-century architecture and stained glass murals. She's booed sermons." Raf's husband said with joy in sight.

"But, but, but- she said you guys met at a religious private school-"

Sulfus interrupted, "And we never visit. Can you guess why?"

"This is mortifying, I brought him here as a joke about exorcising you." Belinda said, she sunk into her turtleneck.

"Oh this keeps getting better." Sulfus said with a chuckle.

Father Glenn rocked in his chair and whined like a seal.

Raf dropped her head. " Father Glen, I know you're trying. I know you can't push my will on people."

"So stop yelling at me!" Father Glenn said.

"Alright, I apologize for my approach." Raf said with a straight back.

Father Glenn stared blankly at her, "I'm going to need more than that."

"Throw holy-water on her husband!" Belinda suggested jumping in her seat.

"Are you ladies insane? This man has been the nicest person to me all night." Father Glenn said.

"Excuse me while I straighten my halo." Sulfus said, winking at Raf.

"Belinda, is that what this has all been about?" Raf asked.

Belinda awkwardly smiled, "Raf, it's a joke."

"It's not funny." Raf said sternly.

"Raf, it's a little funny. Go ahead, Prejean, toss some holy water on me." Sulfus said, he actually felt sorry for the stupid human.

"Okay," Belinda felt gratitude to the douchey-husband for the first time ever, maybe that was why Raf gave him a second look.

"Belinda." Raf warned. "If you aim that at my husband we are not friends anymore."

The cold drops that hit Raf's face were a shock.

"Ease up." Father Glenn said, hands dripping as he stuck his hands in the lemonade.

"Don't tell her to ease up!" Sulfus said, sprinkling water towards Father Glenn and Belinda.

"Okay, that's it." Father Glenn quickly blessed the lemonade, in spite, and flicked drops at Sulfus.

The liquid landed on his face with a sizzle.

"Fuck the Devil in the asshole!" Sulfus said as the holy lemonade burnt his skin.

"Oh God Lord, what have I done!" Father Glenn gasped, "What have I done!?"

"Oh my god, you do have a demon in you!" Belinda said running behind Father Glenn.

"Okay, everyone needs to ease the eff down!" Raf said putting her arms up. "Darling, are you having an allergic reaction to the lemonade?"

Sulfus read Raf's eyes and understood she was trying to cover his Devilish vulnerability. "Yes, Raf, I think there were too many….peanuts in the lemonade. Or is it animal fur?"

"Please, forgive me, sir, I never meant to-"

Sulfus raised a hand, "No hard feelings, the night has brought out the worse in all of us; Raf let loose her temper, Belinda proved she was a bad friend, you, Father, become spiteful which I'm certain is a sin and I ...actually, I think I've brought you all together."

"Yeah, you're a fu- fudging hero." Belinda said, going back to despising him.


End file.
